You’re Madly in Love

Question

There is a woman whom I knew for a long time. I love her so much, but we’re not together anymore. It’s been more than a year since she broke off all contact with me. In two months she’s getting married. What should I do? I am still convinced that she is the only one in the world for me.

Answer

Your situation is obviously a very difficult one. It is also a dangerous one, because she is marrying another man and you certainly don’t want to destroy her marriage.

One thing I must explain to you about what we call “love”: The One who created us wishes us to marry and have children. This is His greatest gift to us, for this is how we become most like Himself — creators of life. But He knows that if we were all sane, controlled people we would never do these things. So, when we get into a relationship with a member of the opposite sex, He arranges for us to go insane and lose all trace of common sense.

This insanity is a very good thing. But the problem is that it has been made to be part of our natures, so it is indiscriminate. Meaning that it can work against us, too. We see, over and over, how destructive this wonderful insanity can sometimes become.

You are young. Like they say in America, there are plenty more fish in the sea. Especially wonderful Jewish girls. My advice: Save your beautiful insanity for another one. Let this woman marry and raise a family in peace. And you will merit to do the same.

By Tzvi FreemanTzvi Freeman is the author of Bringing Heaven Down to Earth and, more recently, Wisdom to Heal the Earth. Subscribe to The Daily Dose of Wisdom and Freeman Files for regular updates.

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